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Though based in the United Arab Emirates, the circulation zone for Cosmo Middle East takes in Qatar, Amman, Lebanon and Kuwait, where the censors don't muck around, simply tearing out pages they don't like. 'Stuck a dirty work boot above it and kind of went, 'Happy Ramadan!' Terrifying.' On top of that, she'd accidentally cut Allah's name in half. I mean, it was sold at a store, and I then put a boot, a shoe, above Allah, which is the biggest insult it's possible to give.' Turned out that the vase actually spelled out Allah, which I didn't know.

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'I got into work the next morning to this inbox full of complaints and an email from a cleric outlining his absolute disgust, asking how I'm going to be punished, essentially.

She found a vase, or what to her untrained eye looked like a vase with a flower in one end, and stuck it on the page along with some workmen-style boots for women. When Simon-Lawrence was editing stablemate Grazie, before she got the Cosmo job, she ran a gift guide issue during the holy month of Ramadan. The assumption is always that the goal is marriage.' So what can she say? 'Well,' says Simon-Lawrence, 'we talk a lot about your wife, the qualities you're looking for in a wife, although we tend to say soul mate, that sounds a bit trendier. They got reprimanded on that basis.' So no hints on hook-ups, no questions about the ideal woman. That's why online dating doesn't exist and there's no access to that sort of thing. 'They said you're setting people up and we don't do dating officially in this region. She learns from the mistakes of others, such as the Indian-language magazine that ran a bachelor's special, construed in Dubai as a dating service. 'We could be removed from the shelves, we could lose our licence, which scares the life out of me,' she says. And who's to say what's good frisky Cosmo fun and what's indecent?

Soft porn is illegal here, as is swearing and showing nudity. 'Oh no, altar would suggest Christianity, we can't do that.' She has managed to keep on the right side of the line so far, 'But I say a little prayer every time we go to press 'Please don't let this be the month I get arrested.' ' Which isn't quite the joke it sounds. 'You're up for a sleepless night' as opposed to 'Get your rocks off'. She's also developed a genius line in innuendo, dreaming up straplines such as 'Bring him to his knees', or 'Stand to attention', to replace the more familiar '58 ways to please your man'. and since being appointed founding editor of Cosmo Middle East almost three years ago, 32-year-old Simon-Lawrence has honed the art of compromise. With a bit of airbrushing, some careful wording and even a little cheeky innuendo, Cosmopolitan is making more than modest impact in the Middle East.Д«ut a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. She'd met the formidable HGB herself in her NY office (blue carpet, pink typewriter, lots of leopard print) and admired her sass, her once incendiary message that women should sow their wild oats yet here she was, nipping and tucking that message for the censors. As a free-thinking, open-minded Sydney girl, she'd grown up on the unbowdlerised version of Cosmo. It did break her heart a little, Simon-Lawrence says. In fact, when Cosmo's patron saint Helen Gurley Brown died in 2012 and all arms of the vast Cosmo empire ran double-page tributes, Simon-Lawrence could only reference the book that made her famous, Sex and the Single Girl, after she'd pixelated the s-x. A tall order given that in the rest of the world, sex is Cosmo's essential selling tool, while here in Dubai you can't even print the word. Her job is to get an appropriately modest, un-bumpy version of Cosmopolitan magazine out into the Middle East marketplace without it offending the censors or being stripped from the shelves, or getting herself thrown into jail. Hot seat вЂ¦ For Kerrie Simon-Lawrence, being editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan Middle East is a delicate balancing act.

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